


i'll love you (in every other life and this one)

by scratchfliprepeat



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, M/M, but its actually pretty good i spent weeks on the first one, fluff and angst abound, hemoturgy means "study of blood magic", i cant finish any works, i just didnt finish it because i was too ambitious and couldnt carry out the full story, im about to leave the fandom so, its part of the fantasy world, more details inside, so uh its a collection of stuff i havent finished, uh before you get confused hemoturgy isnt a real thing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-09
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 01:59:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16567445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scratchfliprepeat/pseuds/scratchfliprepeat
Summary: basically a bunch of stuff i havent finished. it's like, kinda good though because i spent weeks on the first one. but i kinda lost inspiration so eh.1.) will happen, happening, happened ('cause you and i will always be back then); reincarnation au. about five hundred years ago, viktor nikiforov was a knight and yuuri katsuki was a spy. before that, they were students at the same dance studio. maybe lovers. history won't tell. now, viktor nikiforov is a hemoturgy, the study of blood magic's, prodigy, and yuuri katsuki just wanted to pass college. aka, the story where making history is not as great as it seems, and old wounds are hard to heal.2.) extras; extra from the last fic. a short oneshot of yuuri and viktor's early (first) life. aka, viktor is an idiot who has a giant crush, and yuuri is oblivious.





	1. will happen, happening, happened ('cause you and i will always be back then)

**Author's Note:**

> right!!! thank you for coming into this fic. um, so first off, i didnt finish this because there was too much details to write in. i did write quite a lot, so it was a shame not to post. 
> 
> the concept + details are at the end, because it wont fit at the end notes. i told you it was detailed. anyway, i think its only for the "will happen, happening, happened". if confused for some details, feel free to ask! if for some reason, youre interested and want to adopt, just ask!
> 
> before entering, in this fic, "hemoturgy" is a huge plot point in the fic. the two scenes revolve around it. it isnt real, i just made it up. its the study of blood magic. it is set in a modern magic setting, but no magical creatures like vampires or fairies or stuff like that. just no magic humans and magic humans. thats all!
> 
> that said, enjoy!

"I'm sorry." Yuuri gasped. He once prided himself in concentration, but now he couldn't concentrate on anything but the way the air scraped raw against the slash on his chest. He could feel his legs ready to give way － _no, no, no, not yet－_ "Vitya, my _darling_ , forgive me－"

A swirl of smoke obscured Yuuri. An illusion, of course. An illusion quickly flickering, and he could see the clash of swords and the back and forth of feet. Silver hair is flying somewhere, and it blurs. Yuuri staggers.

He sends another illusion in Viktor's direction. It was risky, it might affect Viktor as much as his opponent－ _fuck._

He forgot－

"Give it up, Katsuki." The soldier taunted. He knew him, once in a forgotten lifetime. Georgi Popovich. He was quiet if unprovoked, often found courting some duchess, and will － _would－_ accompany Yuuri if he found Yuuri alone in the upper part of the kingdom.

And now here he is, at the mercy of his sword.

"Never." He gasped. He sees the metal descend, and in a split-second decision, he lets another illusion cover him. An explosion.

Yuuri feels the air knocked out of him. He's about to die. This is it.

He hears swords clash above him. Silver hair.

"Viktor－" He gasped again, falling to his knees.

"You're not dying on me, Yuuri!" He screams amidst the chaos. It was something akin to an anchor, and Yuuri holds tight. "You promised, Yuuri!"

Yuuri feels himself mumble more apologies. He could still pull through, maybe if Viktor carries him away soon enough－

Yuuri could barely _scream_ －

* * *

 He meets him in class.

It was one of those life-or-death situations, when your entire life flashed in front of your eyes-a bit depressing, actually. Panic settled in Yuuri's chest, crawling up in every inch of his skin an forcing him awake. His flight-or-fight instinct kicked in, and he quickly took in his surroundings. He jumped up in his seat, a trail of drool from his mouth and trailing to his notebook, and he realized, he _fucking realized－_

He slept in Mr. Feltsman's class.

And that was a life-or-death situation indeed.

Students were filing out in front of him, eyes pulling to him as they went. Their faces were screwed in pity, because you only slept in Mr. Feltsman's class if you had a death wish.

Yuuri scrambled to shove all his things into his bag (there were unfinished notes on his filler, now stained with drool. Completely unsalvageable. He'll need to ask Mila for notes later), trying to pretend that _oh no sir, he wasn't asleep. The messy hair thing and askewed glasses was a trend. Please don't mind me._

That's when he noticed him. Only one person was fighting against the current of people, his hair an eye-catching silver. He even approached Mr. Feltsman －what the _fuck,_ was he suicidal－ with a grin on his face. Instead of the room shattering shout he expected, Yuuri saw Mr. Feltsman give the student an exasperated sigh. The student showed him his notes, gesticulating wildly, and Mr. Feltsman just let him.

And, Yuuri thought, _wow, weird._

As he shut his bag, still lamenting his lack of hemoturgy notes, he found that he can't pull his eyes away from the silver-haired stranger. Complementary hemoturgy was that class everyone was forced to take, but didn't like. This stranger was different, it was like he _volunteered_ for this class.

Watching him now, with his bright smile as he leaned against the professor's table－ again, what the _fuck_ － Yuuri subconciously filed away the information in his mind. You could never know when you needed information like this.

* * *

 

The sky wasn't crying.

Yuuri was ten years old. He knew he didn't know _the big things_ yet, but he knew enough. He knew that the sky should be a grim gray and cast them with a spell of sorrow with the chill of the rain. The air would be filled with mournful moans and cries, and the people in the streets would be scarce. The vivid green scenery would fade into a dull yellow. The world wouldn't spin in it's normal pace because how could it? The world would never be the same.

But it didn't. 

A chill had settled around town, and Yuuri could still feel the _wrongness_ in the air. It was like he was waiting to be found out for shattering that expensive bowl, the promise for punishment hanging in the air.

But like that time, everything else was mostly normal. The sky was a brilliant blue, people were bustling in the streets- they weren't even wearing _black,_ it was as if it was a normal day- it was still silent, the only reminder that today was not a normal day.

There was a ceremony held in the palace. Every upper noble was allowed to come, so carriages had disturbed the normal sight of the streets for weeks now.

The King of Ildianed had died.

Yuuri hadn't experienced death himself. He imagined that he would cry for days and days and _days and days_ if something happened to Mom, Dad, Mari－ or even Takeshi and Yuuko. But he didn't know the king. He can't cry. But he knew it was a big deal.

A sigh pierced through his thoughts. Mari set a heavy hand on his shoulder. She was looking out on the window, light flickering on her skin.

"It's going to be over soon, Yuuri." Mari said. "It'll go back to normal soon. This mood is so damn tiring."

 _Would it?_ Yuuri wanted to ask, because King James had been around even before Mari was born.

"This happens all the time." Mari said, as if sensing his thoughts. She might have, she was an empath after all.

Right on cue, laughing rung out the street. Loud, unrepentant, joyful laughing. He saw people look at the source of the sound, somewhat scandalized, but it didn't stop. It continued on, increasing in volume as it drew near.

And Yuuri saw a boy zip through the streets, his silver hair flashing behind him. He was gone as soon as he came, bringing his laughter with him.

"See?" Mari said. "He gets it."

 _Does he?_ Yuuri thought, dread churning in his stomach.

 

 

He might not know the king, but what the boy was doing was a disgrace to his memory.

* * *

 Viktor can't breathe.

His room was so irritatingly familiar. His room was arranged in a certain way, the walls a dark blue, sunlight peeking through the curtains, the cabinet standing tall in one corner, his study table stacked with books he had to study, and one book in his hands, one that he was desperately trying to memorize.

Earlier, he had re-arranged the room so many times. He removed the curtains ten times and re-attached them. It was still stifling.

Viktor finally slammed the door open, but the sight that greeted him wasn't a nice one either. The ceiling was pasted with notes. Chris was splayed on the couch, reading it.

"Viktor." Chris said. He looks at him, head to toe, then sighed. "Take a break, _cheri_. I'm afraid you'll have a breakdown if you stress yourself further."

"Christophe, you worry too much." Viktor said lightly, book tucked under his arm. "I'll head out to the library."

 _"Viktor－"_ Chris tried to plead, but Viktor had already shut the door behind him. The walls of the hallway was an dull gray, but Viktor still can't breathe.

True to his word, he did go to the library. It was littered with college students with varying levels of stress. There was one who was bobbing her head to the music of her earphones, and there was someone who was staring at a book, and all the other books were swirling around her like a compressed tornado. Viktor felt the urge to join her and cry.

Instead, he took a solitary table and opened his biology textbook again.

The words were starting to blur in front of him. Viktor's eyes ran over the words repeatedly－ _longcellular organelles of most eukaryotes that are found outside the nucleus, produce energy_ \- willing for it to make sense. But ill-fitted puzzle pieces don't match as much as he wanted for it to click, it only made his head ache. Viktor shut his book with a sigh and covered his eyes with his hand.

"－the study of blood magic can be connected to desire and will, the component of all existing magic." And Viktor _breathes,_ the words pierce through his buzzing head. It was like a breath of fresh air.

Viktor looked at the source. A person, a man who was holding a book, _Thicker Than Water III._ Like metal to a magnet, he shut his book and walked over to the man.

"Is this seat taken?" Viktor asked, certainly looking deranged. "I can't help but notice that you're studying Hemoturgy Year Three, and I can help you with that. Other subjects are making my head hurt."

"Yes, please." He said without hesitation.

Viktor immediately asked him on what he had a problem on, and when he said with a shaking voice, _everything,_ Viktor could almost cry with relief. He went through the concepts with ease as if he was breathing. Halfway through the book, he stopped and took a breather－ because _finally,_ the world made sense again, only to realize that bright, brown eyes were blinking up at him.

Viktor felt himself flinch. He must have looked like a complete fool.

"Is there a problem?" Viktor asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Of course not!" He said suddenly, running his hand through his hair. "You've been a really great help, but I don't know your name."

Viktor blinked. Oh. "I'm Viktor Nikiforov."

"Viktor." The man repeated. "Do you want to go to the cafe sometime? For my thank you."

"Oh." Viktor blinked again. "It's alright－"

"I _insist._ " He said. "I would fail hemoturgy if it weren't for you, so please accept my offer."

Only now, that Viktor was able to think straight, he was able to see the man properly. He had Asian features, brown in the way Americans could never be, eyes slightly slanted. He had wisps of brown hair tickling his ears. He looked humble, hidden in his thick coat and scarf. His eyes were bright, open and earnest, and something twisted in Viktor's chest.

"Only because you insisted." Viktor let his lips curl into that familiar smirk. "I believe I still don't know your name?"

"Yuuri. Yuuri Katsuki." He said, brown eyes alight, and the world shifted.

* * *

 Yuuri watched the new student－ Viktor Nikiforov, bastard son of Duchess Dominika Nikiforova, who was then sent off to be under the care of Lady Lilia Baranovskaya and Yakov Feltsman of the very long Feltsman military line. He was supposed to _stay_ there, in the military village, training with all the other squires.

But he's _here._ Pulling all the wrong muscles and resembling a constipated duck. Yuuri had half a mind to come over and help him, but he was pinned by Lady Lilia's sharp glare.

"Viktor, I think you should push your back straight." With that, Lilia slapped his back. Viktor Nikiforov winced in pain.

The whole class wasn't just Lady Lilia teaching Viktor Nikiforov a lesson not only in dance－ _really, what was he thinking?_ Dropping in class out of nowhere? He must be insane. Yuuri had to work for _years_ to get where he was today. Even with that, Yuuri was struggling too, in his own right, sweat collecting on his forehead and dripping down his chin.

"Mother," Viktor Nikiforov said, the absolute fool, a grin on his face. "I find this fun. May I come to the next session?"

And to Yuuri's surprise, Lilia _smiled_.

"Only if you could keep up, Vitya." She said.

With that, Lilia Baranovskaya roamed around the room, very reminiscient of a hawk. Yuuri tore his eyes from the display and desperately tried to correct his position, his foot was a little off, but heavens above, it _hurts._

* * *

"The Soulmate Theory states that every person has someone fated for them. Luke Hansen said that magic exists in every person, even a Mundane. Everyone has a specific mark of magic unique to only two people." Viktor recited from the book. "That skims the surface, at least. It's been existing for so long but it still hasn't been proven. What do you think?"

The Soulmate Theory had existed for a long time. It was the stuff of legends, the things the girls－ except Mari, she faked gagging when it was mentioned－ giggled about. Loathe as Yuuri to admit it, he had dreamed of meeting his soulmate.

But The Soulmate Theory was just that. A theory. As Yuuri grew up, he realized that soulmates were too _convenient._ It was awfully similar to his blood curse. A person would be compelled to fall in love with some person because of some system.

Yuuri didn't want that.

"My opinion or what I know about the subject?" Yuuri asked.

Viktor smiled. His eyes were always glimmering, reflecting back the light. It reminded him of the hot springs back at home.

"－Both."

He very nearly doesn't catch it.

"The existence of blood magic helps The Soulmate Theory. Blood magic has been proven and traced through history, but it hasn't been explained how it works. Mundanes can be spelled with blood magic. Unlike other magic, it is bound by blood, so it can exist until the person dies. It can be said that The Soulmate Theory is a subtle type of blood magic. This is the reason why The Soulmate Theory still stands. My opinion on it?" Yuuri breathed in. This comes the hard part. "I don't like it. At all. I want to choose who I want to be with not _fate_ or whatever."

Viktor smirked. The curl of his lips was slightly too harsh, and just like that, Yuuri can't read him again.

"My, my, Yuuri." He tilted his head to the side, his silver bangs flipping and catching light. "I thought you were a romantic."

"I am." He said, ignoring the rush of blood of his cheeks. "But romance is not－ _not_ being controlled by something. Romance is finding someone and _choosing_ that person of your own volition, even if you find that the person can be difficult, even if sometimes it would be easier to let go－ but you _dont._ You choose him because you love him, not because it was easy or because of _fate_."

"Oh." Viktor said quietly.

* * *

_"Viktor!"_

He is impaled on a sword. Instinctively, his back arched. Something flickers in Georgi's face, and he disappeared into the background. Viktor stared at his wound, eyes wide and blank.

"I must be out of pratice." Viktor said, eyes still wide.

"I'm sorry." Yuuri gasped. He could feel his blood－ _he_ _was dying_ － dampen his clothes. Viktor was still in shock, unmoving, frozen in time, only betrayed by the blood seeping from his clothes. "I'm sorry, I'm so _sorry－_ "

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Viktor smiled. Even if he is still in shock, it looked painfully real. Yuuri remembered a time long before, back when they were lovers and nothing else mattered."Yuuri, I'm sorry, but I love you, I love you, _I love you－_ "

"Vitya, _Vitya－_ " And for one, joyful, painful moment, Viktor's eyes sparkled brighter than the sun. His heart constricted. "Let go. It's okay now, it's okay, we're alright now."

A sob wrenched itself out of Viktor's throat, then he let himself go. A heavy weight pressed against Yuuri's chest. His consciousness was slipping away from him. He must be delirious, because it was  always like this, wasn't it? Now the weight on his chest was physical and real, and it wad only fitting that he would die like this.

With Viktor. It was always Viktor, wasn't it? The blessing and bane of his existence.

"We'll be happier, okay?" His voice quivered, and with the weight of the world, he rested his hand on Viktor's head. "When we meet again, we'll be happy. We'll be _happy._ "

* * *

first off, haha. the soulmate theory pieceand their dying scene (the last one) was written before all of it, so sorry if its out of place. i just squeezed it bc it was a waste. there was supposed to be more scenes between them but o well.

anyway, heres everything else! it wont fit at the end notes.

right, so the story here. i wanted some reincarnation angst and there was barely any reincarnation stories in the fandom so i wrote it myself. anyway!!!

the format was supposed to be alternating with the past life, aka young kiddies squire/knight-in-training viktor and humble innkeeper yuuri. current life is about college students viktor and yuuri, where yuuri loathes hemoturgy, the study of blood magic, and viktor is absolutely great in it.

some worldbuilding here, blood magic is like, super murky. people have studied it and came up with nearly nothing. basically, people know it exists, and pretty much the foundations= desire and magic. but everything else is basically theory. since Mages (magic peeps) and Mundanes (nonmagic peeps) coexist, to avoid a war, (because the magic and nonmagic discrimination are kinda like racism, and they're starting to bridge it)

science majors have a mandatory magic subject credit, and vice versa. you cant major in hemoturgy, because its super useless. viktor cries in the distance. because you actually need magic to understand most magic subjects, mundane science majors just take hemoturgy. that is why yuuri is forced into it.

actual story! In The Past, king jorge-joseph leroy has died. the kingdom was discriminant against magic, once known you are a mage, you arent killed, but is basically shunned. king jj sr. tried to fix this, and they were so damn close but old age is a thing, so. viktor is a bastard son of a duchess, and to avoid further disgrace, is basically hid away to a family friend. it leaks out anyway. he is adopted by a much lower noble and a knight. since viktor is basically a feltsman, he has to take on the military line. so he becomes a squire, or a knight in training. lilia and yakov has marriage issues, as usual, so one day, viktor sneaked out of training to join lilias dance studio, and he meets yuuri. yuuri has a bad impression on him because he laughed at the kings funeral, and really, who does that? i know, KIDS. but well, yuuri is yuuri. but viktor is persistent and they become friends. i have a 5+1 thing on this, i might post it sometime. anyway, viktor accidentally finds out that yuuris a mage, but he doesnt tell. in return, yuuri trains him to see through illusions more. there are like types of magic, and if you are born to a certain one, you cant change it. if you were born to manipulate water, you cant learn to fly. so yuuri can make illusions. thats it. he trains viktor to see through illusions so in case of a mission, he doesnt die because of an illusion, because yuuri couldnt stand that. anyway! yuuri has some juicy history too. the katsukis are also part of a very long military line. but the katsukis dwindled down to two members= toshiya, yuuris dad, and takako. toshiya didnt want to be a knight so he basically said fuck it and married hiroko, a mere innkeeper, and takako kept the military line by marrying takeshis father. so takeshi and yuuri are cousins. anyway, mari WANTS to become a knight, but she basically cant now. so she becomes obsessed with the lower noble village, where most knights live. viktor teaches her how to fight to get Plus Points from yuuri, and hes basically her ticket to be unofficially squired under yakov. its some pretty romantic stuff, yuuri calls viktor his knight, and viktor promises to always save him if need be. yuuri teases and laughs that as long as viktor comes back alive, nothing else matters.

ha. little did they know.

back to king jj sr. hes obviously jean-jacques' dad. in canon, jj is younger than yuuri. like here. when king jj sr died, yuuri is 10. jj is 2 years younger than yuuri, so hes 8 years old when his father died. one of the advisers take over the kingdom, but jj still automatically takes his place when he comes of age. so they manipulated jj to make it an anti magic kingdom, and lo and behold, not long after jj's reign, they waged a war against mages. since nobody knows about yuuris/maris/hirokos magic (toshiya doesnt have any. katsuki was a mundane line), viktor tells them to run away. takeshi also was worried for his magic family. the katsukis run away. mari, unable to stay still, joined a rebellion.

eventually, instead of a civil war, it grows too big. it becomes wars between anti magic and pro magic kingdoms. almost no kingdom is safe. in a dog eat dog world, yuuri is forced to use his illusion magic to spy on other people. he uses a cover of Eros, an employee (ahem) at a brothel, to get information from people. one of his co-workers as a spy and seducer is lee seung-gil, also an illusionist. his boyfriend is phichit chulanont, who was serving in their kingdom's (not yuuri's native one) military.

meanwhile, back at the military, viktor quickly rises up the ranks. in the fear of mages overhearing them, (they have a fae myth, where names hold power. actual mages laugh at this.), except if youre a really close friend, they never call knights by their actual name. they call them by their title, and if youre more well-known, you have more titles so the mages wont figure it out. some of viktors titles are The Son of Victory, The Harbinger of Death, Living Legend, etc. viktor is super guilty at first, but is forced to shut down his emotions. he is nothing but the kingdoms servant, after all. 

anyway, chris, viktors closest friend, brings him to a brothel so he can chill out. it was yuuris current brothel. yuuri recognizes him asap. on the other hand, viktor doesnt, but yuuri taught him too well in the art of illusions, so he recognizes him too. viktor books yuuri into the night, but they dont do it. viktor just warned him, like all those years ago. yuuri just cursed him,  while knowing that viktor knew that yuuri's curses held no weight. yuuri and seung-gil left that night.

anyway, years passed. viktor disappeared off the radar, and nobody knows if hes dead or alive. in reality his guilt ate him whole and he decided to leave it all and live a normal life. years passed again, and a ceasefire happened. yuuri gets a break off, and decides to go soul-searching. yuuri and viktor meet again, much more jaded and cynical. they dont love each other, because they stood against everything the other believed. at least, its not the clear-cut definition of love, but they still had feelings. just for the hell of it, they slept with each other almost every night, but never held each other in the afterglow. they couldnt forgive each other. instead of pillow talk, their conversations are some variations of this:

"did you ever regret the killings of innocent people," yuuri asked, staring hardly into the wall. "or are you too damn convinced that mages arent even human, even after the mindblowing sex we had?"

viktor was silent. a moment passed. another.

"same question to you. why do you mages raid innocent village, ones that are clearly defenseless?" he said. 

yuuri almost wanted to throttle him. "hypocrite."

viktor turned to him, a foreign expression on his face.

"pot, meet kettle." his face was bathed in the moonlight. he looked like the devil, inviting him to his own destruction. 

bluhhh to lazy to write the actual scene. anyway. the first and last scene is this. one day, their innocent village where theyre hiding in is raided. viktor didn't bring any weapons with him. he's skilled, yes, but you dont bring fists to a sword fight. thats when yuuri realizes that beneath all the pain, confusion and anger, yuuri still loves viktor and knows deep down that they were both forced into the situation. knowing that he still couldnt forgive viktor, not fully, when they are both dying, he says the words "we'll be happy again" (instead of i'll love you always, and that makes all the difference in the world. for the better). meanwhile, viktor was never truly angry at yuuri, at least not as deep as yuuri's anger, and he was mostly angry at himself and in extension, the world. he knows he cant love yuuri without forgiving himself, and really, how could he? he killed so many innocent people with all the wrong reasons. once he died, all he wanted was rest. he was tired of being a knight, tired of being a killer, tired of being yuuris enemy. he never really figured out yuuris true intentions on their deathbed, but even that sliver of redemption was everything, so viktor was super duper happy. 

anyway, so yuuris blood is splattered on both of them. bc yuuri and viktor wished that with all of their and more, they bound each other with blood magic, with the words "we'll be happy again". only yuuris words bound them because hes the only one magic out of them both. 

sad, sad fact, yuuri died before viktor did. he didnt hear him say his last words, "thank you" because all viktor wanted was rest and yuuri. he had both at that tine.

so. worldbuilding bit. any kind of mage can perform blood magic, not just at your dying bed, but as long as theres blood involved. there must be a desire deeper than anything else, then you bound that desire with blood. 

In The Present Life, yuuri and viktor dont remember all that theyve gone through. they just have leftover feelings. so viktor is depressed, and yuuri is also depressed but copes better. viktor is also a huge magic enthusiast, its his penance, while yuuri doesnt hate magic, he doesnt use his own magic (illusions again), and doesnt even acknowledge it. so instead of taking illusions as his mandatory class, he just sucks it up and takes hemoturgy.

backgrounds again. its basically canon on yuuris side, except for the skating and the magic. yuuri didnt show signs of magic, so they thought he was mundane like daddy. bu they picked up magic from him, so they discovered that yuuri HAS magic, but struggles to use it, and has a blood curse on him. 

heres another thing about blood magic. you can only detect it, but theres nothing else you can do. you cant figure out the caster, when it was casted, and what the curse does. this is what people do not know, because like i said, the study of blood magic is super murky. subjects are not hypnotized to do the task or something, they are just super strongly compelled to do it.

some other worldbuilding, cautionary fairytales about blood curses are the sleeping beauty, pinocchio and some. 

anyway, blood magic has a negative connotation. yuuri has to live with not knowing what the blood magic does, so naturally he hates it.

anyway, he has a long distance pen pal thing, thats when he meets seung gil. they become a thing when they meet in college, but seung gil digs phichit more, and yuuri wasnt really that invested, so they break up fairily quickly.

on viktors side, he still has family problems. by the age of ten, lilia and yakov split ways. lilia takes viktors custody and they stay in russia, while yakov gets yuri plisetskys custody and they live in america. he briefly becomes friends with mila back when they were kids, and mila remembered that the divorce broke something in him. too bad that milas family had to shortly migrate to america. because yakov always taught hemoturgy, and because viktor missed yakov, he latches onto hemoturgy.

because vik loves his little brother, once he is able to, he flies all the way to america for college. he signed up for hemoturgy, although it is not part of his major. (so yes, yuuri was right on that note)

back to the present, yuuri hates himself more than he hates hemoturgy, so he signs up for hemoturgy rather than illusions. a good part of his identity is built around the fact that he hates his blood curse. basically nobody knows about it.

a huge part of viktor's identity is loneliness and isolation (as if having depression wasnt HARD ENOUGH), so he pushes people away. like christophe earlier. for some reason, he cant push away yuuri. he also constantly longs for his little brother, who is constantly angry at him and the world, because while viktor had a complete if not messy family for a decade, yura cant remember anything.

not to mention, at The Past Life earlier, yuri had to take viktors place once he mysteriously disappeared. not only is he basically a child soldier (viktor is young, around his mid or late twenties when the war started. in this fic, yura is younger by him in ten years in both lives. so either way, he was a teenager), but he had the pressure too. he didnt die for a very, very long time, unlike viktor who had a semblance of penance while he died. so Present Life yura took some anger from his past life too. as if having split parents and a distant brother wasnt hard enough.

the whole story is basically built on the past life. present life is all about healing. in viktor and yuuris tutoring sessions, they go about history figures, including themselves, and they express some emotions. viktor is very passionate about The Fairy, (yura), and expresses hate about The Living Legend's sudden disappearance. yuuri doesnt care much about history, and says, "its all in the past, it doesnt really matter."

on the other hand, viktor helps him with his identity issues. he eventually confesses that he has a blood spell too (notice how he calls it spell), and he might never know what it is, but it doesnt really matter. theres no use in worrying about something you couldnt fix.

they help each other. they fall in love again. 

yuuri helps viktor amend things with little yura, because yura is amazed by yuuris illusions. that leads yuuri to accept his own magic again, though he still barely uses it, compared to Past Yuuri who used it every second he could without other people noticing.

viktor stopped blaming himself for many things. he realized that lilia and yakov's separation was their decision, and even if viktor was the perfect child, he couldnt do anything. all he can do is try to be there for yuri.

yuuri eventually accepts that his blood curse is part of his life. it may be good or bad, but it will be always there, and he couldnt change it.

with yuuris accidental help, viktor and mila meet again. mila says that its glad to see him again, and they catch up for a while. when yuuri and mila are alone, she remarks that hes smiling more. when his parents broke up, he had frequent mood swings and became a brat for a long while. 

yuuri leads him out of his isolation, viktor mends things with chris too. chris cared about viktor, but they were not the bestest of friends. viktor doesnt open up. or used to. now, yuuri incorpated him into his friend group, (seung-gil, mila, phichit and sara). 

whenever depression spikes for either of them, they try their best. but some things never really leave. 

it ends with a feeling of hope, because while they are paying for things both of them didn't know, both of them are also healing. they were never quite the same innocent, beaming, starry-eyed kids they were in their first life, but they are able to live and move on, the things Past Yuuri and Past Viktor werent able to do. even if they lived through their injuries and didnt reincarnate, they wouldnt have forgiven each other or themselves, and instead would have gone separate ways, unlike what Present Yuuri and Present Viktor have done.

so, some notes! on Past yuuri's last words, i think they deserved to be happy instead of the cliche in love. one of the points in the present life is that they arent forced to fall in love over and over again. instead, they chose each other again, even by coincidence. all Past Yuuri's magic did was make them meet again, and it could have ended there. but yuuri and viktor chose each other again, and probably would even without magic. even if they had an inkling of what happened in their past life, they could have just discussed some history then became friends. but they didnt. 

also, yuuris words helped them both from completely flipping out. they have gone through a lot, i think. and blood magic only compells them to be happy, so even the magic cant pump fake happiness into them if theyre miserable. all the magic can do is try to suggest activities that make them happy, but the choice that make them happy is theirs.

also, their dying scene was always supposed to be at the end. the whole blood magic thing was supposed to be implied that the magic spelled them to love each other. but nah, that was all them. there was supposed to be a whole mystery, but i couldn't write it anyway. oops.


	2. extras

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just some extras from the last fic. a 5+1 from yuuri and viktor's early life. and viktors massive crush and non-existent tact.
> 
> the five times yuuri is rude to viktor and the one time he realizes that his feelings go beyond companionship.

yuuri sees him. he walks in all his graceful glory, head up high and back straight. his hair bounces behind him with a rhythmic manner. the class has fallen silent. he wasnt wearing his squire clothes, but he only ends up looking like a god dressed as man.

here is the thing. lilia and minako lead the class. minako for the beginners, lilia for the advanced. for the middle, they alternate. they have high standards. if you studied from another dance studio, you still won't get to advanced level in minako/lilia's dance studio. most transferees go through beginners again. the extremely lucky ones go to moderate.

point is. there is no student who does not know minako. minako is the one who grills the new meat and simultaneously makes them fit in with the system. she knows what shes doing.

there is no newbie who meets lilia on their first day. even the long time students nearly piss in their pants if lilia cocks a sharp eyebrow.

everyone is afraid of lilia. yes, she's a lady, compared to the big ranks like duchesses and marquise, but shes also Lilia Baranovskaya, so your point is?

and this new kid. viktor nikiforov. lilia's adopted spawn. they expect him to be sharp and perfect because, he's a squire, right? he trains under yakov feltsman of the long military line. his parents are lilia baranovskaya and yakov feltsman.

but he's goofy. he jokes with, again, lilia baranovskaya, and even if he pulls all the wrong muscles and ends up collapsing halfway into the class, he made lilia baranovskaya looked human. which. is. a concept.

he asks help from yuuri, who was the best among the class. yuuri is boggled and teaches him, but viktor still notices the cold shoulder. he asks why.

_because youre viktor nikiforov?_ he internally shrieked. _you're supposed to be in whatever you noblemen go, and not here?_

he still ends up studying at minako's beginner class anyway. but he still latches on to yuuri, because he was floored with yuuri's grace. it does not help that minako may claim to not have favorites and end up singing yuuris praise anyway.

needless to say, viktor develops a crush. it doesn't help that distance only makes the heart grow fonder.

so, he may claim that he'll come to class at some random schedule because, "oh, i thought i had classes today, sorry!" but he definitely knew the schedule because of minako, and he definitely just wanted a glimpse of his black-haired beauty.

* * *

 

one day, viktor builds the courage to ask him out after class.

"i need to look for a tailor." viktor says, lying through his teeth. "i need more clothes."

yuuri inwardly agrees. he looked too fancy. but still, yuuri is surprised. he politely tells viktor that he has stuff to do, and yuuko almost faints beside yuuri. viktor still insisted. yuuko made up some excuse to leave.

yuuri is somewhat annoyed. the great Viktor Nikiforov wasnt as great as he seemed, he was forgetful and showed up in the wrong classes half of the time, and he didn't even know where the local tailor shop is. maybe he was just spoiled?

but they go to an impromptu date. yuuri learns that viktor likes dogs, so he cant be too bad.

* * *

the third time is when viktor finds himself in yuuri's inn. theyre closer this time, viktor frequently tags along when yuuri and yuuko come home, but strays when they come upon their street. so one day, when yuuri has his shift, viktor is sitting there.

"what are you doing?" yuuri asked, standing up defensively. viktor stands out from his customers, even his normal clothes were too clean and iron-pressed to blend in.

"eating, of course!" viktor chirped. "i _did_ wait in a very long line, so im sure you have good food."

"of course!" yuuri said, pride and indignation swelling in his chest. "but like i said, _what_ are you doing here?"

"i just said. eating. may i have the chef's recommendation?" viktor asked.

"katsudon." yuuri said automatically. he blinked. "but why _here?_ you've never been here."

viktor flashed him a winning smile. " i'm branching out! and i'd like some katsudon, please."

"okay." yuuri said tensely. "you're not getting any discounts."

"i don't expect to, either." viktor said.

yuuri had no time to dawdle. as much as he wanted to monitor viktor throughout his stay, the inn was a busy place. he only had time to see viktor's face as he recieved the plate－  calculating, and as he recieved his order. when viktor gave him his payment, there were much more coins than needed.

"i can't accept this." yuuri said, his heart diving to his stomach. "viktor－ this is too much."

"it's my tip!" viktor smiled. "the katsudon was really good. my compliments to the chef!"

"no, really." yuuri said, feeling his face burn. "we have a no tip policy here. its appreciated, but no thanks."

"yuuri, please accept it." viktor said.

"i don't need your pity." yuuri said quietly, something twisting in his stomach. "i know we're just a dime-a-dozen inn and we're not as rich as you, but we earn enough, thank you."

"yuuri." viktor said. "that's not..."

viktor took his extra money. "i'm sorry."

yuuri watched viktor's retreating back. he always knew viktor was filthy rich, but with the weight in his hands, he forgot how rich he is. 

* * *

the fourth time is when he accompanied mari to aunt takako. he meets cousin takeshi, who was diligently training. mari joins him, and yuuri watches.

later, he walks around the village. he sees viktor, along with someone with the prominent features of the popovich line and a red-haired girl. it was like a splash of cold water, they were wearing noble clothes, and viktor didn't have the childish aura around him. he looked somewhat mature and cold, but not fully.

then he sees yuuri, a wave of shock washes his face, and he runs over. he asked what hes doing. yuuri suddenly ducked his head, embarassed.

"yuuri! toshiya! oh, this is my friend from dance class!" viktor said brightly. "this is yuuri katsuki! you must be his older sister, mari katsuki? and you all already know takeshi nishigori?"

"of course!" the red-haired girl said. she stared at viktor expectantly, who was still staring at yuuri. he squimed. she snorted. "i'm mila babicheva, and here is georgi of the popovich line."

"nice to meet you." georgi said.

"are you all squires?" mari asked. it was expected she would ask that, especially with the hungry look on her face. she wanted to be part of them.

"nearly everyone in this village is." takeshi said quietly. yuuri picked up on his reluctance and tugged on mari's shoulder.

"wow, that's so cool!" mari clapped her hands. "would you tour us around the place?"

"sure!" viktor said, finally pulling his eyes away from yuuri. that wasnt for long though, because he quickly hooks an arm around him, and he lets out a sigh.

"what are you doing here, yuuri?" viktor asked. yuuri hears mari and mila babble behind them, but he doesnt pay them mind.

"i'm visiting takeshi." yuuri said. "he's my cousin. takako-san's maiden name is takako katsuki."

"i know!" viktor said. "if your father hadn't defected, you would be a squire too. the katsukis are a very vital asset to us, it was a real shame your father left."

something churns in yuuri's stomach. he knows viktors words were innocent, but thorns prick him all the same.

"i'm not sure i could have handled being a squire either." yuuri laughed."i'm not cut out for that life."

"its still nice to imagine to see you living here." viktor said, and the metaphorical knife twists further in yuuri's stomach. "i'd love to see you everyday, training with you."

"i'm not really cut out for that life, viktor." yuuri said.

"oh." viktor dimmed, but he brightened up again. "that doesn't matter! i still love seeing you at the dance studio. yuuri, youre the best dancer ive ever known."

yuuri smiled, his shoulders lifting. "you're just flattering me."

"no, really." viktor smiled. "youre a really great friend, yuuri."

yuuri blushed. "you're still not getting any discounts."

viktor stuck out his tongue. "let's ask mari, then."

* * *

the fifth and final time is when viktor sees him practicing magic. yuuri is dancing alone in the studio, music playing in his head. viktor hears it too once he comes in. viktor is mesmerized.

then yuuri stops, and so does the music. viktor suddenly realizes that there wasn't an orchestra to play music.

"whats going on?" and for the first time, yuuri sees viktor pale.

"what are you doing here!" yuuri very nearly screeches, hands raised protectively.

"was that magic?" viktor asked.

"what are you doing here!" yuuri asked again, and for a moment he fantasized about conjuring up illusions to make him leave, like yakov calling him or something. but then he realized－ how can he hear the music inside yuuri's head? "did you hear the music?"

"where did that come from?" viktor _looks_ faint. and yuuri's knees very neary buckle beneath him.

"but _how?_ " yuuri asked. "only i can be able to hear it－ only minako-san and yuuko are the other ones who can hear it－"

"is it magic?" viktor asked again.

"yes!" yuuri finally screamed.

a silence falls. in retrospect, it wasnt too bad, the kingdom was starting to accept magic. king jorge-joseph leroy was trying to push ildiaded into a more pro-magic environment, but one lifetime isnt enough.

"that's... great." viktor said quietly. "i...i'll be back." then flees.

yuuri's knees finally sink. he has a breakdown, recovers himself, and run away.

a few days later. he sits alone, in a library, run by the crispino twins. viktor finds him there.

a pale hand sets itself on his book. yuuri looks up, annoyed, then surprised.

and afraid.

"viktor." he said. he has half a mind to tell him that mages arent illegal anymore, that violence against mages _are_ illegal. almost a year of friendship－ _yes,_ he finally accepts it, would be thrown away, but thats fine. as long as everyone is safe.

he shuts up instead.

"may i have a moment?" viktor looks scared, still. he doesnt sound childish as he usually does.

yuuri shuts the book in his hand and follows him out. the sun was shining brightly and the wind ruffles viktors hair, making it fly. it was such a nice day. shame that it was about to take a turn.

"i dont know much about magic." viktor admits. "i dont... _hate_ it, but im not familiar with it either."

yuuri swallowed.

"but if my best friend is a mage, then it cant be that bad, right?" and viktor looks at him, so open and familiar, and yuuri feels his eyes prick with tears. "maybe its not bad at all. im sorry for freaking out. you dont deserve that, yuuri."

yuuri stilled. he takes deep breaths and buried his face in his hands.

viktor doesnt move either.

"viktor." he said, his voice trembling. he takes his hands away from his face, and viktor was staring at him.

he tackles him, and for a moment, theyre weightless, and then they meet the ground. viktor was supporting him, because that's what he always did, right? even when yuuri pushed him away repeatedly, viktor would always come back, persistent, until yuuri finally gave in.

and how could yuuri not give in?

they laugh. light was dancing on viktors eyes. they had always been so bright.

"thank you." yuuri breathes.

"no." viktor said, tilting his head to the side. his smile was tender. "yuuri, you deserve only the best."

* * *

 

he finally realizes that hes in love with viktor in such a mundane moment.

theyre all hanging out－ yuuri, viktor, yuuko, takeshi and mila, and theyre all just watching the sun set. their toes are dipped into the ocean.

"yuuri." viktor whispered. the world shrinks down and nothing exists but them and the sunset. "are you seeing this?"

"yes." yuuri said. the sun painted the ocean and the sky a set of beautiful colors, red, orange, purple, blue.

"beautiful." viktor breathes.

yuuri is about to agree as he turned to viktor. but as he found, viktor was already looking at him.

and yuuri _melts._

"youre right." yuuri said. viktors eyes sparkle, the sun setting them alight. "its very stunning."

and _oh._ yuuris heart beats in that oh so familiar way, but he realized that it wasn't annoyance, or anger, or shame.

because annoyance, nor anger nor shame makes him feel like he could be catapulted into the sky and he could fly.

_－"hey!"_ the moment shattered. takeshi is grinning like a loon. yuuri wants to catapult _him._ "nikiforov, don't make out with my cousin with all of us! get a room!"

"youre the one to talk, nishigori!" yuuri shouted back, thoroughly annoyed. "dont think we dont notice that you keep sticking to yuuko-chan!"

takeshi and yuuko both turn a brilliant red, but that doesnt take back the moment they shared. yuuri takes viktor's hand instead, noticing for the first time how viktor immediately brightens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that's the end of this 'verse, i think! i'll fix up the formatting sometime soon, this is the first time i had a decent multi-chapter fic and its not even a real one.


End file.
